What is the one thing even the mightiest, richest and most powerful of all men are scared off?
An ordinary honest man, who may have no power or influence but who, when not on sale, can't be bought by the richest of the rich, who when not ready to bow, can't be subdued by the mightiest of the mighty. No wonder how all the revolutions in the history of mankind have been a result of the ordinary man on street deciding enough is enough and that he's not going to take things lying down anymore, or bear the might of the self-willed ruling class.
However, a revolution is always a result of a combined effort of most ordinary men and women (in case the feminists haven't taken too kindly to my use of the proverbial "man" over here) and is always the outcome of an overflow of common, simmering discontent of public, against a common oppressing force. Whereas in most common daily life situation, ordinary men and women are generally waging their lonely battles of life, and most of them are not honest enough to resist the temptations they encounter to give up their interests for the sake of the interests of those in positions of strength.
However, once in a while an ordinary man that is honest enough, occassionally causes a stir by his adamance to not accepting the dictat of those who like to think of this world as their father's personal property and forget that in nearer or farther future, everybody will have to face THE ONE who actually retains all rights to this abode, as well as the other abode.
Such a man not only gives the high and mighty a feeling of shame at their own inadequacies, morallessness and characterlessness, but also gives them nightmares as to how and what to do so that his resistance can be subdued.
Fortunately for them, and unfortunately for the honest ordinary man, a solution is neither far, nor too tough.
Other ordinary men, who are as weak, as immoral and as dishonest, as the rich and mighty, gladly help them by working together and against the honest, lonely crusader, plotting his downfall, or planning to trap him.
An honest man is easily overcome, not by the power or might of money or force, but his own common, ordinary but dishonest, weak and corrupt brothren.
What if the same ordinary men and women, who let themselves to be used as pet dogs by the rich and mighty for the sake of a few bits and pieces thrown at them, were to stand up to the same shameless modern goons? "This world will be a much better place to live in," will be a grotesque understatement in that case.
"Are you a LION, or a DOG?" everybody gets the same option to pick from, but no one is strong enough to make the tough choice.
I choose to be a LION, what about you?
Anyway, there is a blind girl in some corner of this world, who broke all the boundaries of shame, dignity, morals and nobility, and dared to strip this honest man of his dignity and what for? Just because I loved her more than anything else, and cared to give her all I had, and dared to profess my feelings to her?
She may have as well killed me, if she hadn't it in her to be honest and dignified enough, cause the pain of being humiliated for no fault of yours makes your life much more painful than perhaps a dagger drawn through your heart to finish it all in one single stroke.
However, after all that she's done to me, I still love her and still want her to be the best part of my life, the better half of me.
Now that brings me to the second part of the heading for this post, "buses, girls and relationships."
Right from my later schooling years through to all the years in various colleges, and finally university, I have heard this particular saying, "Never run after a bus, train or a girl. One goes, the other comes!" True it was, and true it is, but there is an ugly side to it.
When you are young, say a teenager, or perhaps early youth, or early twenties, it is a good principle to guide you through the emotional turmoils of good and bad relationships. However, once you inch towards the wrong end of your youth, i.e., end of twenties, and are at the doorsteps of middle years of life, or have started that phase, this philosophy can ruin your entire life.
When you edge towards middle age other things become important for consideration, like planing your personal life, planing your kids, then planing for your kids, etc. And besides, you have to keep in mind how you also don't want to be stuck with arthritis by the time you get your first grandchild.
If someone still follows the same adage of "buses, trains and girls/guys" there is every chance that they will miss the right person and the right time and end up not only getting late, but also with the wrong person. Suppose you were to end up with a person who also believes in the same adage, where will you be left with?
This philosophy curtails your adjustment skills and hyphenates your ego. You fail to realize the importance of shared responsibilities, accepting shortcomings, setting common goals and making adjustments to your own bad behaviour. Results are destructive.
I know I am a good guy and will make any girl I marry happy, and also, I have a lot of options infront of me for a bright future and can always get a better girl, definitely far more prettier than her, and possibly a million times better person. But, I still love her and don't want to give up on her. You will ask why? Is it that she means so much to me? Or is it just my ego?
Yes, that is how much she means to me, she has always meant to me, and she will always mean to me, in case she returns to me. To give you an example, I know she dreams of making a huge name for herself, with a lot of fame. Even I wanted to have a big name for myself one day and actually I was starting on my plan of action for the same when she happened to me. I gave up my dream because I knew for a balanced and happy family life, both of us can't be running after our individual dreams. One has to make a sacrifice, and I decided that it would be better if I was the one who did it. That is how much she matters to me.
Any chance that it is my ego? No, not at all. Look, I can't be running after girls all my life. She may not be the prettiest, but she is beautiful enough to blind me, and many times more beautiful than most other girls. She may not be a good person at heart, but then who is perfect? Whenever you start a relationship, depending upon how much you value the other half, you always have to make adjustments. If you won't, the relationship won't last. I am ready to make the adjustments needed to carry this relationship cause I know, she is no more worse than any other modern girl that one may come across on the streets. Perhaps, she might be slightly better than most.
Besides she is the right age for me, just like I am for her. The girl should be a few years younger to the guy she marries for two reasons. Firstly, men are often very serious is nature and generally their angle of looking at life and way of dealing with situations makes them that way, tough and unyealding, who don't know how to have fun. A younger wife is the freshness and effervescence one needs in a relationship to keep it fragrant and avoid stagnation, while his seriousness makes sure they both don't loose track of their life and associated plans.
Secondly, even though a younger girl means bubbliness in a relationship, but even so, it is a fact that girls are always maturer than their age. And that is a result of two reasons; genetic, as well as environmental. Girls generally attain puberty 1-2 years ahead of guys making them aware of their sexuality and others aware of it too, a couple of years ahead of the boys. Environmental variables include the girls being object of attention and a subject of lust of other men (and women, for the feminists pleasure) which makes them even more aware of their form, situation and surroundings, making them mature quicker mentally, perhaps adding another 2-3 years to her mental growth.
So, a girl is generally bubblier than a man the same age by natural instincts, but if a man was to marry the girl his own age, he is actually marrying a person who is mentally 4-5 years maturer than him, which definitely makes the relationship more plane and bland on one hand, and a bit im-maturish from the girl's perspective. So effectively, the best age balance between a husband and wife should be 4-5 years difference, which fits me and her.
If one treats relationships like buses and trains, opportunities and warranty cards, that person's life is in serious danger of becoming a bus stop where a lot of people come and go, but no one stays for long, an out-dated product which still has got a warranty but no one wants to buy that product.
At one point or the other in life, one has to stop runing away from relationships and commitments and stick with one person, if one wants to have a happy future.
She is where I stop.
I trust my love,
Amanpreet Singh Rai
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